Dang it All
Trials and Travails of a 20-something
Monday, September 30, 2002

"When ideas fail, words come in very handy."
- Goethe (1749-1832)

Music playing right now: 311 - Champagne

I think I'm a sucker for cool shirts on the internet. I just bought another one. What do ya think? Mondays are always really long days. I think Tuesday is going to be a long one as well. But that's ok. It gives me something to gripe about on this blog. It is always nice to sit back and listen to good music after a long day. I tallied all of those green Common Grounds questionnaires today. Found out that most people really want to be able to use their flex cash there. Me too. I think I'd spend all of my $35 really quick though. I know I had more to blog about, but I can never remember what it is when I update. So I'm just going to quit and play computer games. Adios for now.

Sunday, September 29, 2002


"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.

Music playing right now: Offspring - Self Esteem

Well, I just woke up. And I'm wondering how I am supposed to be able to go to bed tonight in order to get up for my 7:10 class tomorrow. I think I will blame my tardy awakening on Pat, Lindsey, and Lisa. It was these three that kept me up until 4:30 playing Uno and Phase 10. But it was a lot of fun. Have you ever been so tired that like anything you hear is funny? I pretty much achieved that last night. There were a couple of times that I just collapsed from laughter. It's a nice feeling. Isn't laughter supposed to burn calories?

Following in Querida's footsteps, you know what you are, don't you? Click here to find out. Adios for now.

Friday, September 27, 2002

"I've never been to Heaven, but I've been to Oklahoma."
- Three Dog Night

Music playing right now: The Proclaimers - 500 Miles

Well, it's been quite a while since I've posted a real entry here. So what to talk about? Let's start out with the wonderful generosity of some teachers. I somehow ended up accidentally skipping a test in American History on thursday. However, thanks to the pity of Dr. Bobby Johnson, I was able to take the test today and therefore salvage my grade in that class. What a nice guy.

What's next? How about my great annoyance with the adult students in my classes. It's not the fact that they are adults, I applaud their effort in trying to complete their education. It's their total lack of classroom etiquette that annoys me. It seems like they all have a tendency to talk all the time. I have one in my teaching of reading class who feels the need to make a comment about every single thing the teacher says. It must just not occur to her that we don't care about her experiences in the grocery store earlier that day. I have also been quite annoyed when the prof is about to let us out early and one of them decides to ask 3 more questions and keep all of us in class.

Final thought: I've become very enamored with Sinfest recently. Just discovered their genius in the last couple of days. If you've never enjoyed their sense of humor, check them out. In fact, I think I will right now. Adios for now.

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

Do good? I? No! Evil anon I deliver. I maim nine more hero-men in Saginaw, sanitary sword a-tuck, Carol, I--lo!--rack, cut a drowsy rat in Aswan. I gas nine more hero- men in Miami. Reviled, I (Nona) live on. I do, O God!

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance."
- Will Durant

Music playing right now: Sneaker Pimps - 6 Undergound

Started my observations at Foster Middle School today. I think I got really lucky. Mrs. Amy Allen has got to be one of the best English teachers I've had the pleasure of seeing in action. She did a great job of keeping her students interested in the structure of compound sentences, a topic that is not the most riveting in the world. She sang, used a lot of humor, and made sure that she connected with each student personally. I think I could learn a lot from her. I can only hope that when I'm a teacher I can be as good as she is.

Also spent two hours tonight at the Wesley-McCabe church down Mobberly helping out with the East Texas Literary Council. Basically, while their parents were learning better English, we entertained children. It's been a long time since I've played that much duck, duck, goose. It was a lot of fun though, and I'm looking forward to going back on Thursday. Right now I've got a fifth of my practicum for this semester done. Yippeee!! I think that I'm going to enjoy it. I got You Don't Know Jack today and I think I'm now going to waste a lot of time on it. It's a very fun game. I think I'm going to go take a shower now to get all the sweat from my hula hooping and pato, pato, gonzo playing off. Adios for now.

"It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

Music playing right now: Eve6 - Inside Out

Well, after getting 3 emails from 3 different professors today about my mounting absences I think it's about time to buckle down and get to work. I start my observations at Foster Middle School under Amy Allen tomorrow. Should be interesting. I'm hoping that I won't get shot. I will have to make sure that I take my knife out of my pocket before I go. That would not be a good thing.

Finally fixed my computer late last night. It's been acting up since tuesday or so. Finally figured out that it was when I tried to install iMesh to download some jazz. That didn't work and I got rid of iMesh, but it left some spyware on my computer. Made it impossible to check my LU mail from this computer. Very annoying. But I went to spywareinfo.com last night and figured out what it was and how to get rid of it. Now I'm back to normal. Yippee!!! Had a lot more to blog about, but it has escaped my mind. Maybe I'll remember tomorrow. So until then, adios for now.

Sunday, September 22, 2002

"Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them."
- Samuel Palmer (1805-80)

Music playing right now: AC/DC - Thunderstruck

Today has been a day for doing pretty much nothing. I did get to go see Bobby and Mac's blues band at the library though. They were pretty good as always. Still need to put my new sticker on Edgar. Got one to add to my collection of bumper stickers: has a cute pink bunny crying with a caption that reads "you suck and that's sad." Goes well with my other ones. I've always wondered what my future students would think if they see my car with a sticker on it that says "I'm tired of stupid people." Doesn't seem very compassionate. That's ok though. Dave is in Tennessee tonight, so I've got the room all to myself. It always feel weird to go to bed in a room all alone now. But that's what I'm going to do. so adios for now.

Saturday, September 21, 2002

"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung."
- Voltaire

Music playing right now: Bjork - Aeroplane

ATTENTION, ATTENTION!!! If you're reading this and it is not yet 4:00, you're in luck. There's a really spiffy blues band playing off and on at the Longview public library today from 4:00-7:00. I saw them 2 or 3 times last year and was really impressed. So if you're interested, make your way down there and enjoy yourself. Adios for now.

Friday, September 20, 2002

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible."
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

Music playing right now: Smashmouth - Walking on the Sun

I passed Querida just now on my way to breakfast. As I passed, I was struck by how little I actually know her. As my mind processed and digested this info, I suddenly had an epiphany. I realized that I really don't know the people in our little LU blogging community that well. For example, I know Eliot well enough, but I know pretty much nothing about Andrew except what I read on his page. As a result of this realization, the germ of an idea began to form in my brain. What would you people think of getting together for coffee or something and getting to know each other? The discussion going on at The Dicken's site has started me thinking about the reasons why I blog and I think it would be cool to get to know these other people who share this strange obsession with pouring out intimate feelings to a computer screen. My suspicion is that this idea will probably end up fizzling out in an anti-climatic gurgle, but I figured it was worth a try. Let me know what you think. Adios for now.

Thursday, September 19, 2002

"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."
- Umberto Eco

Music playing right now: Coldplay - Spies

Today has been a day for introspection and quiet reflection. It was marked by long periods of thinking and great emotional swings. I started out in a near jubilant mood, but over the course of the day my mood darkened from joy to contentment to ennui to dissatisfaction until I reached my current mood of bleak despair. If asked to pinpoint the reason for this change, I'm not sure that I could. It could be the constant wetness that seemed to follow me around today, the small amount of sleep I got last night, listening to depressing music, or even the extremely un-nutritious food I received at saga tonight. But whatever the cause is, my current spirit does not reflect very well on myself. For that reason, I'm thinking that I'll try and avoid most human contact for the rest of the night. Probably end up going to bed early. It's times like these that I wonder why I'm in college. Why am I bothering to learn all about the 46 different phonemes in the English language? Who really gives a crap?

"Maybe this world is another planet's Hell."
- Aldous Huxley

I'm retiring into myself for the rest of the night. Adios for now.

I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
- Wilson Mizner

Music playing right now: Flaming Lips - Do You Realize?

There is nothing quite as refreshing and wonderful as sitting in the middle of a downpour and simply existing. The renewing feeling, the rejuvenation that occurs is something special that only occurs at those rare times. If you've never tried it, I would highly recommend it. It gives one a chance to view the world as it is, with no interruptions. The earth is replenishing itself and the soul does the same thing. I'm infatuated with it, if you couldn't tell. Go out and try it some time. Adios for now.

There's no such thing as picking out the best woman. It's all a matter of comparable badness, brother
- Titus Maccius Plautus

Music playing right now: None - Dave's alseep
Music playing 3 hours ago before Dave went to bed: Enya - Orinoco Flow


Well, after reading all about relationships and pining for love on Querida's blog, I figured I'd add my own insight. Even though she unfairly deleted my wonderful comments. Grrrrr. But anyway...I totally concur with how hard this whole finding the right person thing is. What a trial. Sometimes I wish there were still arranged marriages. But then I think about how boring that would be. In High Fidelity, John Cusack remarks that "it takes a special kind of person to be afraid of being left alone at 25. I was that type of person." If that's true, then I am a very special person. I have times where I'm paranoid about being left alone at 20. But then I realize that I've got the rest of my life ahead of me. There's got to be someone out there.

Sometimes I think that the people who have never had a serious relationship have got it much easier. They have no idea how nice it is to collapse into someone's arms after a long week and just melt into wonderful loving oblivion. They have never experienced the simple pleasure of squeezing someone's hand during the romantic part of a movie. They don't know the exquisite rush of receiving an unexpected gift from that special someone. But I do. And let me tell you, I miss it. My only consolation is that without the bitter, the sweet would not be quite so sweet. But does the bitter loneliness have to last so long? I'm done, I'm ready to move on, I need some female companionship again. Maybe I should stop ranting and wait until a normal time of day to write these things. I'm going to see if I can fall asleep after drinking two frappucinos in the space of 30 min. Adios for now.

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

"An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered."
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936)

Music playing right now: Pixies - Havalina

I've just wasted an hour of my life attempting to get a DVD to play on my roomies computer. Can it be that hard? Why yes, it can. He's got it hooked up through to the TV somehow and has a player that no normal, sane human would use. Even after throwing up my hands in disgust and summoning the floor's resident computer nerd, I was still stymied at every turn. My only recourse now is to wait for Dave to get back. I hope it's soon, Magnolia is a long movie and I have still have a book report to write on a book I haven't read yet.

Speaking of books, I've been reading Time's Arrow, a book that was nicely loaned to me by Eliot. It's a very good book, although quite strange. I have to read it in spurts because it takes a bit of thinking to understand. Too bad I don't have to write a book report on that one. Well, got to start doing something productive. Adios for now.

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce

Music playing right now: Hoobastank - Too Little Too Late

Thanks once again to Bethany for inspiration. Wrote another one of my occasional poems. You can now read all about my Desert Dreams.

Yesterday was a very full day. It's always slightly annoying when you get told the same thing 4 or 5 different times in different ways by bosses. Other than that brief blip on the radar of annoyance, it was pretty good. Went to all of my classes, gave a presentation on Noah Webster. Did you know that his blue-backed speller has sold more than 100,000,000 copies and is still in print? Bet you didn't. Watched Rushmore last night. A strange movie. Jason Schwartzmann played almost exactly the same character that he did in Slackers. But it was good. I like Bill Murray.

Today is much slower so far and I like that just fine. It's currently 12:36 and I haven't yet made it out of Tyler. It's nice to be able to just slack off and do nothing every once in a while. College should be more like this. It would be so much more relaxing. Anyway, gotta go to the library and find a good fantasy book for Children's Lit and Drama. So happy tuesday and adios for now.

Monday, September 16, 2002

Don't stay in bed....unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns

Music playing right now: White Zombie - More Human Than Human

What an unsatisfying way to sleep! I went to bed at 9 last night because I was about to collapse. I got back up at midnight to finish some homework and then I went jogging (11.5 minutes around the loop). Made it back to bed around 2:00 and got about another 3 hours of sleep. I wouldn't suggest following my regimen. I woke up this morning dreaming about New York, underground waterparks, mazes of escalators, and Dr. Kubricht. Have a happy day. Adios for now.

"Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays."
- Office Space


In other news, how about starting a blackjack team of our own here at LU?

Sunday, September 15, 2002

"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
- H. G. Wells (1866-1946)

Music playing right now: Enigma - Rave

Went to Fellowship Bible church today. I liked it much better than Church on the Rock. Less charismatic, and they actually played songs that I knew and recognized. I also didn't realize the staggering number of LU students who attend that church. I enjoyed most of the service. Unfortunately, the pastor was out of town so I didn't get a good feel for what the preaching was like. There were a few things I disagreed over with the guy who spoke, but it was mainly semantics. So I think that this church might be a much better fit than Church on the Rock. We'll see what I think when I get to hear the real pastor.

Went on the Mystery Bus Tour. I realized around 11:00 that I was supposed to go to work at 10:00, but it's probably a good thing I didn't, because then I wouldn't have been able to make it on the bus in time. It was a lot of fun. We went to a big cattlepen maze in Fort Worth, an extreme sports IMAX, and a MLS soccer game with the dallas burn. Shawn and Corey are masters of making sure that people have fun. The 3 hour drives seemed to fly by, probably helped by all the car games we played. I would suggest going next time the event is offered. Well, I have spent all weekend religiously avoiding my homework, so I guess I should attempt to do at least a token amount. Enjoy your Sunday nights. Adios for now.

Friday, September 13, 2002

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Music playing right now: Aerosmith - Hole in my Soul

I just had too much energy yesterday. Instead of sitting down and watching High Fidelity, I spent the time writing cool quotes all over the loft with a sharpie. It now has that cool graffiti look. Actually, it's very intellectually stimulating.

Went to work last night only to find the door locked. Eventually the four of us who did show up realized that we were the ones who failed to check our email. No work last night. It's always nice to suddenly find yourself with 2 and a half hours free that you thought were going to be spent in a cubicle. So I made dave get up off his lazy butt and we went and met some new people in the female floors. That was fun. We managed to waste 2 hours or so, then came back to our room and watched Down to Earth. Not the best movie in the world, but that was mitigated by the fact that we were watching it with a whole lot of people. So we could make fun of the movie when it got really stupid. Friends are spiffy. That's about it for now. Enjoy your friday. Go to the acousti-cover-cafe tonight. Adios for now.

Addendum: The word of the day is triskaidekaphobia \tris-ky-dek-uh-FOH-bee-uh\, noun: a morbid fear of the number 13 or the date Friday the 13th --triskaidekaphobic, adjective and noun; triskaidekaphobe, noun.
See if you can use this word at some point in your conversations today.

Thursday, September 12, 2002

"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."
- Plato (427-347 B.C.)

Music playing right now: Offspring - Defy You

It's amazing what 10 and a half hours of sleep can do to your mood. I feel much more a part of the human race again. Today's question comes from another ESL conversation questions page. If you could commit any crime and get away with it, what would you do? This is a hard one. I think I can immediately rule out the big ones. There isn't anybody who I'd want to murder, wouldn't want to rape anyone. Don't really want to set off a car bomb. I guess that leaves the lesser crimes. The first thing that came to mind was ripping off an entire best buy store. On second thought though, it might be smarter of me to simply rob a bank, then I could buy what I wanted and still have money left over. Everybody's money is insured by the FDIC anyway, so it wouldn't really hurt people all that much.

That's it for now. I'm about to watch High Fidelity, what may be my favorite movie of all time, so I will probably update later with some rants about women. See you then. Adios for now.

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

"When you reach for a star, it's a long way to fall."
- Steve Martin in Roxanne

Music playing right now: Smashing Pumpkins - Today

Have you ever had a day where you just really didn't want to be around people at all? That was my day today. I just felt irritable and grumpy all day long. All of the things and people that are usually just a minor irritation suddenly seemed like major annoyances. It's a good thing that we weren't calling students today. I can imagine going off and yelling at one of them who inevitably only answers with monosyllabic words. I did get to talk through it with a friend tonight though. That helped. My only hope is that it will be gone by tomorrow. I get to sleep in, so maybe that will help. I went for a jog tonight to clear my head. 13 minutes. But with a stop at Solheim to use the little duckies room. Going to go take a long shower now and then go to bed. Adios for now.



I don't think I could better express my mood today if I tried.

"Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact."
- George Eliot (1819-1880)

Music playing right now: Stone Temple Pilots - Sour Girl

If you haven't figured it out from the quote I chose for this morning, I have nothing to say. But rather than let that stop me, I roamed the web until I found inspiration. I think I might use the page or a similar one in the future. The questions are somewhat interesting. For today's question, you can direct yourself to the socializing/friendship page. "When you're with a group are you outgoing or quiet? Why do you think this is?"

I've thought about this one before. I can be very outgoing when I'm with just a few people, 2-4 or so. But as soon as groups start to get bigger, I get pretty quiet. I don't know if it's because I just feel intimidated by the larger group or what. Perhaps I just don't feel like putting forth the effort to make myself heard. This is one reason why I like coffee houses much more than clubs or activities where a huge group is just thrown together. The smaller groupings tend to make me look more outgoing than perhaps I really am. At the risk of inviting silence, what about the rest of you? Shy? Loud? Leave your thoughts at the door. Adios for now.

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."
- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

Music playing right now: Marylin Manson - Tainted Love

I was very annoyed at the inability of my fellow classmates to see the world around them today. We had to bring in poetry books for Children's Lit and Drama. So everybody else brought in Shel Silverstein, picture books, etc. I decided that if I was a teacher, I'd like to challenge my students. I brought in The Inner City Mother Goose. I thought that as a future english teacher it would be neat to have students examine the original mother goose, which by the way was a social commentary on it's time and banned all over. Then I could present selections from the inner city version and have them see how children's poetry can still say something about the world around it. The book is really a paragon of satire and parody.

Unfortunately, not a one of the other people in my class thought that this was a good book at all. They heard rhymes such as "Run, run father, go away: Welfare worker is due today." and recoiled from them. I tried in vain to bring them over to my view, but it was all useless. There's a reason that I've heard LU referred to as "the womb." It seems that many people would rather believe that everything out there is sugar-coated and pretty, rather than see the world as it is. I just get tired of all of this saccharine, sugary crap that comes spewing out of people's mouths in an attempt to hide reality. I would much rather have my children taught too much then too little. Maybe I am just becoming dissillusioned with the whole education program. Check that, let me rephrase it. I like the education program, it's a lot of the students enrolled in the education program that I can't stand. Why does it seem like the most illiterate, ignorant people decide to become teachers? I hear jokes about education majors at this school all the time, and as far as I can tell, there's a good reason for it. But what a sad thought. These people are going to be teaching the next generation? Any of you want to switch majors? I could use some intellectual company in my classes.

Here we go round the official list.
Official list,
Official list,
Here we go round the official list,
Official list again.

Welfare allowance for shoes this year,
Shoes this year,
Sign right here,
You're entitled to buy brand-new
Half a shoe this year.
- Eve Merriam, The Inner City Mother Goose

Monday, September 09, 2002

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Music playing right now: John Mayer - No Such Thing

Greetings go out to my esteemed roommate, David "the bush" Johnson, who just started off his brand new blog, the voodoo lounge men's room. Welcome to the LU blogging community. Adios for now.

"While we are postponing, life speeds by."
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD)

Music playing right now: The Refreshments - Mexico

Well, I had a good start to my week. I stayed up a bit too late last night, so I ended up skipping all 3 of my classes this morning. Not such a great idea, but it's a little late now. I did have a busy day though. Didn't spend much time in my room at all today. Went to Super One Foods today and bought 220 plastic glasses and 5 quarts of whipping cream for Common Grounds. Corey gave me his credit card and I was tempted to go on a spending spree, but I restrained myself.

I called a bunch of people tonight, and I don't think a one of them was really interested in coming to LU. I did get to talk to one person though who told me that they didn't want to come here because they wanted to go into engineering. That was a first for me. Apparently all we'd ever sent her was info on history. I've been thinking that our room looks pretty good this semester. But even so, it could use some more stuff. Maybe some art deco stuff. I like that kind of junk. I'm pretty sure that I had something to blog about tonight, but I just can't remember so this is all you're getting. Adios for now.

(flash forward 10 minutes) Remembered what I was going to talk about. Gotcha started today. I find it humorous to watch the people who really get into it. I think it's a fun game, but the camoflauge and semi-automatic nerf guns are a bit much, don't ya think? Which brings me to my next point. Does anyone know who Michelle Owens is? I need to shoot her. If you see her, be sure to have her come see her. I just need to go get a gun from someone. That was it. You can return to your regularly scheduled programming now.

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

Music playing right now: The Proclaimers - 500 Miles

This was a busy weekend. I was planning on trying to go the Longview Community Theater this weekend to see their current play, but I went to Lilo and Stitch on Friday night, our floor party last night, and Phil's bday dinner tonight. The play is still going to be running next weekend though. Anybody want to go with me?

Wore my Landover Baptist shirt around today. It was interesting seeing people's reactions to it. Some people thought it was hilarious, and others just didn't like it at all. I think it might end up languishing in my closet a lot. Went to Chili's for Phil's bday tonight. That was a lot of fun. I felt sorry for our waitress though. We didn't make it very easy for her. There was a large contingent of our group shooting sptiballs with their straws. After dinner, I went to wal-mart for the first trip of the night. I'm up to 3 trips to Wal-mart as of right now.

On that first trip I got some bleach for my hair. Came back and did my hair and kind of did Dave's as well. Unfortunately, I missed some big spots on Dave's head and he ended up looking like a spotted leopard. That precipitated my 2nd trip to Wal-mart to buy some more bleach. Saw Querida and Danielle there. Opted not to say hi however, because Dave was still looking pretty bad and I didn't think it would be very nice of me to subject him to ridicule from even more people. Got back from Wal-mart and did the rest of Dave's head and had some left over. So then we did Bredon and Nick's hair as well. In the middle of that exciting time, Michael Fine told me that he needed to go to Wal-mart to buy some reading glasses for school tomorrow. So I trudged out to Edgar one more time and made the trip. I encouraged Mike to get the ones with the flowers on them, but he decided not to heed my wisdom. I now finally have my homework done and I have class at 7:10 in the morning (get the cheese-graters). So I'm going to go to bed before someone needs to go to Wal-mart again. Adios for now.

Sunday, September 08, 2002

"God, please save me from your followers!"
- Bumper Sticker

Music playing right now: Bjork - There's more to life than this

Well, Bethany suggested the topic for this post. You know, the rest of you should get in gear here. I'm getting tired of typing links to her blog all the time. Well, anyway... I watched Stigmata last night. The question now is, how much do I believe of it? That's a tough one. Right when the movie came out, I watched a special on PBS or the discovery channel or something about stigmata. It told all about the cases down through history up to Padre Pio. By the way, Padre Pio just got himself canonized this summer.

I've been looking for info on stigmata on the web this afternoon, but so far I've come up pretty empty. Just found a bunch of sites about the movie, a lot about padre pio, and a lot that misspelled stigma. I think the basis for the whole idea comes from Galatians 6:17, where Paul says that he bears the marks of Jesus. This plus the fact he had a "thorn in the flesh," leads some to think that he suffered from the stigmata. Gal. 6:17 is the only place in the Bible that the word is used. I'm not sure I would believe that Paul did suffer from it. You would think that somebody else near Paul would have mentioned it, or we would be more sure. It's not like Paul was an obscure character in history.

If you discount Paul as a stigmatic, the first sufferer would then be St. Francis of Assissi. That was in the 13th century. Apparently he led a wild youth, then had a dream in which he was crucified with Christ and woke up with the wounds. He changed his ways and ended up becoming a saint. Since then there have been various other stigmatics who pop up every once in a while in history. One thing I did notice when I saw this documentary was that most of the stigmatics in the pictures had wounds in the middle of their hands. Scientists have pretty much confirmed the fact that Jesus was actually crucified through his wrists. The palms would have just given way and he would have fallen off the cross.

All of this stuff makes me tend to believe that stigmatics are not quite real. If it is something that affects deeply religious people, why didn't any of the apostles receive it (Paul excluded, perhaps)? Why did it take 13 centuries before St. Francis got it? And after it took that long for someone to get stigmata, why did so many people in the last 7 centuries who exhibited it? I can't believe that all of a sudden, the world got much more religious. This plus the fact that the wounds are in the wrong place on the hands makes me conclude that something just ain't quite right here. I can believe that God works in mysterious ways, but usually when He does that, it brings about some purpose and helps people. How does maiming people help them? I can see no benefit to them, other than glorifying them as more religious than the rest of us, and there's not much benefit to the rest of the world from watching these people bleed.

So if these wounds are not inflicted by Christ, where do they come from? I would guess that some of them are self-inflicted (that has got to hurt), and some of it is psychological. Who knows, maybe some of them are schizophrenic or have multiple personalities and part of them hurts the other by forcing metal objects through their hands, as nasty as that is. All in all, I think that I have come to the conclusion that if stigmata exists, it's not caused by God. They may be the wounds of Christ, but I would tend to believe that they are the self-inflicted wounds of Christ. And the persons afflicted may be deeply religious, but personally I would revere someone like Mother Teresa who gives her life to service much more than someone like Padre Pio who just started bleeding a bit. Adios for now.

I'll never fall in line, become another victim of your conformity...
- Sum 41

Music playing right now: Sum 41 - Fat Lip

Finished up our freshman orientation tonight with a big party. Because of the rules on the floor, I can't divulge what happened, but suffice it to say that by the end of the night, my shirt and two pant legs were burned away, and I was covered in mud. You can use your imagination as to how that happened. It was a lot of fun though. I think our floor will be good and tight this year. It's always sad to see some people leave, whether it be graduate or move off the floor, but it's also cool to get to meet new people too.

Watched Stigmata tonight. That's a freaky movie every time I watch it. A lot of blood in that movie. I'm drawn to the movies that are based on pseudo-Christianity though. I always find them interesting. Stigmata, Dogma, End of Days, Event Horizon, I think they're all pretty spiffy movies. ~subject change~ I'm sitting here mulling over the fact that I'm extremely jealous of Bethany and her carload of friends. Guys just don't do that. Well, it's not like we're that secretive or hard to figure out anyway, but girls don't do that for me either. It sure would be a lot easier though. I can think of a couple questions that I could use answers to:
Why is it that all the girls I don't really want flirt with me, but the ones I find attractive usually ignore me?
Is it really personality that counts, not looks?
What do women look for most in a guy?
I think I could use a good game of Girl Talk. Any takers? Anyway, I'm going to bed. Happy dreams. Adios for now.

Friday, September 06, 2002

"I'll sleep when I'm dead."
- Warren Zevon

Music playing right now: Weezer - Only in Dreams

What a long day. Stayed up all night and then made a speech in my first class at 7:10 in the AM. Came back to my room and collapsed into bed until 11:00, when I had to get back up for my only other class of the day. Worked for a couple hours in Corey's office, then watched Ghost, wasted some more time on the floor and went to go see Lilo and Stitch. It was actually a better movie than I had been expecting.

Gave Bethany my application to work at the Longview Youth Shelter tonight. It sounds like it will be a really cool program. Just have to get through all the red tape and administrative hurdles before we can actually start volunteering and brightening up the kids' lives. Wish I'd known about this opportunity earlier. I had no idea it was going on. But at least I know now. I'm looking forward to getting in there and meeting these kids. But for now I need to retire to bed. Adios for now.

Head and back hurting, world spinning, eyes red and puffy. Sorry Bethany, can't see you play in chapel. Dan need sleep.

"Sleep is overrated."
- Bethany Smith

Music playing right now: None - Dave is asleep.

Well, I left MSC-1 around 9 tonight with the full intent to come back to my room and get all the homework that I've been putting off all week out of the way. Unfortunately, when I got back I ran into Tim Bochman, who was looking for people to go see The Sum of All Fears. Naturally, not being one to pass up some good Christian fellowship, I scrounged up all my nickels and tagged along. After returning around midnight, I further participated in fellowship through some uplifting computer games. Finally, I buckled down around 1:00 to start my homework.

Around 2:40 my eyes were starting to see double images in my books, so I decided to go for a jog. I confirmed my worst suspicions: I am not a very good physical specimen. I made it around the loop in 12 minutes. My only consolation is that I actually jogged the whole way, albeit incredibly slowly. I think I will make it another one of my many goals this semester to trim that down to under 10 minutes. Seems reachable. I did discover that the sprinklers around the library turn off at 2:45. Just in case you wondered. Well, got to finish homework now. It's a good thing tomorrow is Friday. Adios for now.

Thursday, September 05, 2002

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."
- Woody Allen (1935-)

Music playing right now: Stavesacre - Minute Man

I was sitting in American History class today trying to stay awake. Dr. Johnson said something that stirred me out of my half-slumber. He was talking about the legacy of the Puritans. Made me wonder about what legacy I was going to leave. In an attempt to organize the thoughts milling about my sleep-deprived brain, I wrote down some semblance of a poem. Looking back on it now, I'm not really sure how poetic it is, but it's not really an essay either. Maybe it's somewhere in between. Got to study for quiz in Children's Lit and Drama. Adios for now.

"A poem is never finished, only abandoned."
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)

Wednesday, September 04, 2002

"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)

Music playing right now: Dave Matthews Band - So Much to Say

Well, how dissapointing. I didn't get to call a single prospective student today. Instead I was relegated to stuffing envelopes with flyers for college fairs. I guess I will have to traumatize people over the phone another day. Perhaps tomorrow.

I was bored this morning, so I went over to the Worst of the Web site. Found two wonderful websites. If you have any time at all you should check out Eugene Mirman and the LNSEMSF World Headquarters. Good waste of 20 minutes or so. Went to class today and found out that for one of our homework assignments due on friday, we have to use books other than our textbook. Unfortunately, Dr. Ames only has one copy of each. How convenient. Guess I'll be making copies. I Went over to Eliot's room tonight and watched Code Name: Diamond Head, a truly awful movie, but an ok MST3K one. Need to finish cleaning up my room for room inspections. Happy studying. Adios for now.

"Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working."
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor)

Music playing right now: Adema - Giving In

I went into outlook today and made up a schedule of all the things I'm doing. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are very busy days. Mondays in particular. I'm sitting here at work again in Corey's office with nothing to do. If I was smart, I would have brought some homework with me, but I didn't think ahead. Maybe next time. I guess I could just start making up activities for the school to do. I got a check from half.com today for selling some books. It somewhat mollified me after having to pay my credit card bill yesterday. That one hurt. I think I get to start calling people tonight and annoying them about LU. I'll update again afterwards and let you know how it went. I'm guessing I'm a bit rusty. Might be interesting. Adios for now.

P.S. I just reread this post and realized that it sounds somewhat scatterbrained. Nothing really fits together. Oh well.

Tuesday, September 03, 2002

"There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."
- Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)

Music playing right now: Butthole Surfers - Pepper

Went and got a Longview library card today. I think I ended up with the same disgruntled, bitter lady as Eliot. I told her I needed to get a card and she visibly sighed and looked at me like I was the harbinger of everything awful in the world. I was attempting to be anodyne, but unfortunately all my attempts failed and I think she disliked me by the time I got away. To top it off, no one in my children's lit and drama class liked the picture book I got. I thought that Cinderella Skeleton was one of the coolest kids books I'd ever seen. Very Tim Burton-ish. But everyone else in class was too squeamish and acted just like education major cliches.

Got my Mensa membership card today. Was somewhat dissapointed. I paid them $49, you'd think they could at least laminate it for me. Nope. Piece of flimsy plastic that looks like it will get torn to pieces in my wallet. I imbibed some coffee with Mark Lusby and Josh Suarez tonight. Those are some interesting people. It was nice to have a real conversation about serious subjects though. It seems that my floor is getting more and more immature. Or perhaps I'm just getting more mature. Although I doubt that. Once again I have no homework due tomorrow. What a bore. Maybe I should do some that's due on friday. naahh. Adios for now.

Monday, September 02, 2002

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

Music playing right now: One Way Ride - Painted Perfect

Started our freshmen orientation tonight. I think this year will be a good year. We took a run around campus yelling 1A Panthers and played in the pond for a while (Those ducks are fast!). Also gave our freshmen bottles of A1 sauce relabled 1A. They actually look pretty cool. I think I want one. Male bonding is a wonderful thing. There's nothing quite like 10 naked guys squeezed into a small space made for 6 showers. The camraderie on this floor is pretty cool at times like these.

Started training for telecounseling tonight. It was pretty much a rehash of last years training. But that's ok, I forgot most of the facts about LU over the summer. Does anyone know how many majors we offer? I believe it's 80 something. I think this will be a fun year for telecounseling. We've got Kate Vidrine, Mark Lusby, and Josh Suarez. Can't get better than that. Lusby in particular has got to be one of the funniest people I have ever met. Looking forward to that first paycheck. Being an education major is great, I have no homework for tonight. So I think I'm going to find a good book to read. Adios for now.

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)

Music playing right now: John Mellencamp - Jack and Diane

Haloscan is down for some reason. How annoying. How am I supposed to get comments without them? I need feedback, what's the point of a blog without it? Anyway, I switched to Enetation for comments for the time being. If Haloscan comes back up I'll probably switch back because this new one takes longer. In the meantime, feel free to add your comments. Adios for now.

P.S. (12:16 PM) Yippee! Haloscan back up.

It's a beautiful morning. I think I'll go outside for a while, and just smile.

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
- Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

Music playing right now: Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American

Watched Chasing Amy with Dave tonight. What a great movie. I think what I like best about it is the fact that it's believable. The guy doesn't get the girl in the end and life goes on. Also watched Slackers. That's a really funny movie. It's another college movie with incredibly huge dorm rooms though. Wish they were that big in real life. I'm just glad I don't live in the quads. Those rooms are tiny. That's it. Go watch a good movie. Good waste of time. Adios for now.

Sunday, September 01, 2002

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
- Galileo Galilei

Music playing right now: Philmore - Our Finest Hour

Went to Church on the Rock this morning. It was not the church for me. Just a bit too charismatic. I don't think I'm quite comfortable yet with people jumping around and yelling in the middle of singing. I can understand that it can be a valid form of worship, but it's definitely not what I grew up with, and at least in this point in my life it just distracts me from my worship. The service also just reminded me of every cliche I have ever heard or seen about televangelists. The pastor very closely resembles Steve Martin's character in "Leap of Faith." Unfortunately for me, one of the worship leaders also looked and acted exactly like Tom Cruise in Magnolia. All of this combined to basically distract me from the reason I went to church in the first place.

I've been to charismatic churches before and known people who attend them and on the whole, I'm not particularly impressed. I'm usually struck by the sudden change that comes over a person when they enter the church and decide that all of a sudden they need to start shouting and praising God all the time. Many of the people I know who attend these churches are also the worst Christian hypocrites I know. I guess that's why I feel slightly prejudiced towards them. They are gung-ho and ready to fight and filled with the "spirit of the Lord" when they are in church, but as soon as they step out of the building, they revert back to their old ways.

I also sensed a palpable herd mentality in the group. It seemed that no matter what the pastor said in his sermon, somebody would pipe up to say "Amen," or "That's right," or "Preach it!" I got the impression that the pastor could have suggested that we all go down and bomb an abortion clinic after the service and half the congregation would be ready to follow him, without even paying attention to what was going on. These are the people who are Christian because it makes them feel good about themselves, and absolves some of the guilt they feel in their lives for screwing up all the time. These are the dogmatic Christians that Landover Baptist pokes satirical fun at.

All of this is somewhat disturbing to me. In actuality I think I'm more disturbed at what is happening to me. Somehow I have developed a cynical approach to Christianity. In some ways it's good, it forces me to study things in more detail and scrutinize things to make sure they're kosher with what the Bible says. In other ways, it can be a real drag. It makes it difficult to place trust in anything because there is always a question lingering about whether this is really what was meant, or whether we really should be following this path. I think I have just seen too many people who blindly accept everything that is told to them and suffered because of it. But I also feel nostalgic about my loss of innocence. Perhaps this is my spiritual adolescence, my time of changing from spiritual milk to meat. If so, I hope it happens fast. I'm tired of feeling unsure all the time. Adios for now.


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