Dang it All
Trials and Travails of a 20-something
Tuesday, December 31, 2002

The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.
- George William Curtis

Music playing right now: Live - I Alone


My dad went out today and bought me a book. Did a damn good job of it too. I'm now the owner of Bird by Bird, a book by Anne Lamott on writing. I'm only a fifth of the way into it so far, but it's a really good book. If you're interested at all in writing, I'd definitely recommend it. Also about halfway through The Chosen, by Chaim Potok. Another excellent book. There are just too many good books out there and not enough time in which to digest them.

In honor of the date, we have a list of my resolutions for the new year:

1. Stop smoking (done!)
2. Read more books, watch less movies
3. Learn japanese
4. Eat less saga
5. Get another tattoo
6. Make dave get a tattoo
7. Start showering at least once a week
8. Drink more tea
9. Eat more donuts
10. Find something more interesting to do on new years eve.

I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.
- Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones's Diary


Sunday, December 29, 2002

All that we know is nothing, we are merely crammed waste-paper baskets, unless we are in touch with that which laughs at all our knowing.
- D.H. Lawrence, "Peace and War," Pansies, 1929


Another weekend come and gone. Another weekend without much to show for it. Although I did start story #2. Kind of. And I went jogging tonight. I am so out of shape. And I've plundered my brother's computer for music. I just finished making a CD full of mp3's to take back to school. Right now though, I think I'm going to go watch Kill The Man and then go to bed. I am one of the unfortunates who has to get up for work in the morning. ugh.

Saturday, December 28, 2002

It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich

Music playing right now: David Gray - Say Hello Wave Goodbye


Two good movies in as many nights. Tonights film was My Big Fat Greek Wedding. A very good movie. Unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to see it again to truly appreciate it. Not in the best of moods. Had my parents yell at me for 2 hours before I went to the movie.

My grades were not so good this semester (dropped 3 classes when I switched my major and got C's in the other two). Which isn't that new. My parents are fed up. They're trying to decide whether to even let me go back to LU. Well, it's not like they can decide whether I go back or not, but they're deciding whether they're going to finance it. And I sure can't pay for it on my own. I'm guessing that they will relent and I'll come back yet again. If I do make it back though, I'm going to need to get straight A's this next semester. Seriously. Not even one B.

After the 14th time they asked me why I did badly, I told them it was because I'd rather spend time with friends than go to class. Not the best idea. I got a whole long diatribe from my dad about how I need to get my priorities straight and friends are fine, but grades are why I'm in college. I can understand the importance of getting good grades, but it's not the top of my list. When I look back on this part of my life I don't want to say with pride, "I got an A in Intro to Fine Arts." I'd much rather look back on fond memories of nights spent with dave or bredon or danielle.

We are cursed to live in a society and be part of a generation that uses psychology much more than it should. As a result, I've decided that the reason I spend so much time blowing off class and homework to go out with friends is that I don't want to end up like my dad. I love the guy to death and respect him so much, but I would give anything not to end up like him. My dad is one of the most successful people I know, he makes over $100,000 a year, has a law degree and 3 masters, but I wouldn't take his life for any amount of money.

My dad spends his weeks living in a tiny little apartment in Platte City, KS, 3 hours away from my mom. He drives home on the weekends and then goes back to his hole for the week. All so that he could make more money than he did in Wichita. Add to this the fact that he has no friends that I know of, except maybe his brother in KY, and I'm sorry, but I feel bad for the guy. At family get-togethers, he's always the one on the outskirts, just standing silently, not really looking like he belongs. Ask him about the origin of a word though, and you'll get a 10 minute speech on etymology. The biggest event in his life is going to the library to get a new book on tape.

Money, success, a good job, a college degree, these are all important things. But unfortunately for my parents, I put friendships above those. I probably just need to make both friends and grades a priority. I've always been afraid of ending up friendless, probably due to my fear of ending up like my dad and moving around so much as a kid. Causes me to neglect other things in order to assure myself of having companions. I guess I just need to have a little confidence that they'll be there and get on with what I need to do. Time to buckle down and get my ass in gear. Adios for now.

The clock talked loud. I threw it away, it scared me what it talked.
- Tillie Olsen, Tell Me a Riddle

Music playing right now: Five For Fighting - Superman


I think it's kind of sad that I spent my friday night with my parents and brother. It is somewhat mollified by the fact that we did finally go see The Two Towers. Gollum and Gimli are definitely the two stars of the movie. And while I didn't get pregnant as a result of the movie, I do think that Liv Tyler needs to come to her senses and decide that I'm the man for her. ~subject change~ I find it curious that whenever I feel like writing I'm nowhere near a computer, but when I finally sit down I don't want to write at all. I could have written volumes yesterday while I was at work. Now, I really could care less. I'm thinking of starting a new story to make up for my failed novel. I don't think I'll publish this one on the internet though. At least not until it's done. Happy Saturday. Adios for now.

Thursday, December 26, 2002

nothing interesting for me to say, so instead you can laugh at others:

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Senator Dan Quayle, 9/15/88 (reported in Esquire, 8/92, The New Yorker, 10/10/88, p.102)

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is `to be prepared'.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 12/6/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)

Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle addressing the 20th anniversary celebration of the moon landing, 7/20/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 4/30/91

I love California; I practically grew up in Phoenix.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

Woman saved by breast implants

Adios for now.

Wednesday, December 25, 2002

Driving down the road alone, my heart is drenched in wine, but you'll be on my mind forever.
- Norah Jones

Music playing: James Taylor - October Road


A nice slow, lazy Christmas for me. Woke up around 8 and wrapped the last of my Christmas presents. Then took a nice 2 and a half hour nap on the couch. Have spent the rest of the day opening presents and listening to Norah Jones, Lou Rawls, Coldplay, Andrea Bocceli, and the new James Taylor. All very good. Not a bad Christmas at all so far, despite the alarming number of sweaters I received (4). Hope yours are just as pleasurable. Adios for now.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

Humorous Wichita Encounter #23:

spotted a van a couple days ago driving down the road. The side proclaimed in large letters that it belonged to "Betty's Tailoring, Alterations, and Astrology"

Monday, December 23, 2002

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.
- Maya Angelou

Music playing right now: Live - Dance With You

I made it to Kansas City here without much incident. Got here and discovered that my dad's "apartment" here is basically the size of a very large hotel room. Not bad though. I guess it works for him. It's not like he spends all of his time here. He's got our huge house in wichita. I got here, turned on the tv and went to bed. That may not have been the best idea. When I went to bed, I was watching the early show, catching up on the news. I woke up again in the middle of the price is right and watched that for 10 minutes or so until I fell back asleep. The next 3 hours or so I spent in kind of a half-asleep, half-awake doze. My state, plus the fact that soap operas were on produced some really weird dreams. I don't think I've dreamt that much in a long time. Usually I don't remember dreams at all.

I got here and found the computer that I'd made it all the way through high school on. It brings a certain sense of nostalgia to a nerd like me to see the computer I learned most of my computer skills on. It also has a lot of the music I listened to back then. To be honest, a lot of it is really pretty bad, but I did have some good taste when I put Live's The Distance To Here album on here. I've been listening to it and they're such a good band. I've always thought that their song, Dance With You, is one of the most romantic songs ever made. I was going to break the law and upload it so you could all download it and enjoy it with me, but then I realized that my stupid high school self has it saved in some weird real jukebox format. oh well.

I have this strange tendency that happens sometimes when I hear music. I imagine the song I'm hearing in a movie. Except most of the time the movie doesn't exist at all. I know, it sounds weird. and it's kind of hard to explain. But for example, when I listen to Powerman 5000 I get visions of the hero of a movie running away from exploding buildings shooting people on the way, making cool John Woo moves and using some shiny nickel-plated pistols. Dance With You has always struck me as the song that would play during a long, somewhat sad romantic montage. I can see scenes of two people during happy times. laughing without sound while the music plays. maybe play-wrestling and then stopping all of a sudden to look into each other's eyes in a long meaningful stare. Meanwhile we all know that this song is playing because the hero is going off to meet his death and probably won't see his girl ever again. I know, I digress. But if I ever have a movie made of my life, I want this song in the soundtrack, preferably with an absolutely stunning girl in the montage. Adios for now.

Sunday, December 22, 2002

Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till to-morrow what you can do to-day.
- Lord Chesterfield

Music - Megan Mullally


Just finally finished watching every episode of 24. It was a pretty good show, but they sure stretched it out. It could definitely have been finished in 4 hours if they wanted it to be. by the end it was feeling a little soap opera-ish. Especially when dead people kept coming back to life and the wife got amnesia. Amnesia? c'mon, how much more cliched can you get?

I'm going back with my dad tomorrow to Kansas City until tuesday afternoon. Get to see what his apartment looks like and visit the plaza. Should be a nice change from here. The only drawback being that I have to leave here at 3:30 in the morning. ugh. wow. that's only 5 hours from now. I should be in bed. I'm guessing I'll be sleeping a lot there. Adios for now.

Saturday, December 21, 2002

look at me.

If parents would only realize how they bore their children!
- George Bernard Shaw

Music playing right now: Ben Folds Five - Battle of Who Could Care Less


Ok. I've seen my parents, I've had fun with my brother, I'm ready to get back to college. Even LU. I know as I say that, I'll probably reverse myself after I've been back for a week or so. But right now I'm so freakin' bored here. There's just never anything to do. It sucks having your parents move your first semester in college. You come home and don't know anybody to hang out with, so you end up hanging out with your family. Which is fine for the short term, but they get kind of old after a while. And I can only watch so much TV. I'm feeling the need to go out with a bunch of friends and have a good time. But hey, at least Christmas is coming up. Should help to relieve a bit of the boredom. Hope your weekend is more exciting than mine. Adios for now.



Friday, December 20, 2002

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
- Homer Simpson


Noticed a good looking used CD store whilst driving around last night. Ventured back today on my lunch break and found that it actually is pretty good. I walked out owning Ben Fold's Five's Whatever and Ever Amen and Naked Baby Photos cds. good stuff. My brother bought the first season of 24 this week. We're planning on watching the entire thing tonight. 19.2 hours. I'm not sure we'll actually make it all the way through, but we've stocked up on pizza, ice cream, chips, and twizzlers. I've never seen the show before. I'll let you know what I think after I recover. Or if it's 3 in the morning and you can't wait to find out, call me. I'll rouse myself enough to talk to you. Adios for now.

Thursday, December 19, 2002

He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either.
- Friedrich W. Nietzsche


Just got back from a white elephant gift exchange. Am I confused about the term white elephant? I was pretty sure that particular term implied a certain junkiness of gift. So my brother and I go. He wrapped up some old village people records and I wrapped 15 license plates that we had around the house. We got there and people started opening stuff. People had brought candles, candy, baskets, blockbuster gift card, etc. I'm sitting there thinking that the license plates I brought are going to be kind of a crappy gift. But the girl who got them really liked 'em. So maybe I wasn't after all. Merry Christmas. adios for now.

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

No man is sane who does not know how to be insane on proper occasions.
- Henry Ward Beecher

No music playing: Watching Back to the Future II


The chickpea. A modern conundrum. 'Tis neither a chick nor a pea. So why is it thusly named? to figure this out we must delve into the etymology of the term. It can easily be broken into two parts. first is the chick. chick is from the middle english chyke, an alteration of chiken, originating in the 15th century.

pea, noun: a variable annual leguminous Eurasian vine that is cultivated especially for its rounded smooth or wrinkled edible protein-rich seeds. Yet this so called chickpea has no protein-rich seeds and does not come from chickens. What is the meaning of this language faux pas? I believe the true answer must be contained deeper within.

The slang term chick also means a young girl. Therefore, since the chicken definition does not fit, this alternate definition must. accordingly we now know that a chickpea is the pea of a young girl. this defnition also doesn't seem very feasible. It was at this point that I became very distressed. Would I ever figure out the answer to this question of the ages? I then came to the classic solution that presented itself. So simple and graceful, I should have realized it from the first.

The first chickpea was discovered back in 1947. At this point, the discoverer tried to use it at a meal with his best girl. When she asked what it was, he told her that "it's a pea, chick!" This anecdote was butchered after a few years of constant retellings and became the term we now know today. See, you learn something new everyday. Adios for now.

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.
- Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith

Music playing now: Lula - Journey to Uranus


I think it's really cool how good writers reference each other in their work. They identify and applaud good writing. For example, the back jacket of Trainspotting has a quote from Nick Hornby, praising the book. Nick Hornby's collection of short stories, Speaking With the Angel, has a story in it by Helen Fielding. Helen Fielding in turn writes Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, in which Bridget interviews Colin Firth as he is shooting Fever Pitch, the movie based on Nick Hornby's book of the same title. In Fever Pitch, Colin Firth's character references D.H. Lawrence and The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. It's amazing how great writers recognize each other. So spiffy. ok, I'm tired of making links. Adios for now.

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Monday is a lame way to spend 1/7 of your life.
- Author Unknown

Music you should listen to: Something from David Gray's new album


Just got done with my first work day of this Christmas break. It's been a while since I've worked an actual work day. It was just as bad as I remember. I spent the entire day putting together different parts of trophies and feeling my back and neck ache. Still, there's a certain feeling you get at the end of the day from knowing that you've spent it putting things together with your own two hands. I think that feeling is exhaustion. I'm plain worn out. I'm not sure this is worth the money. I could be allergic to work. Somebody give me a couple million so I don't have to work anymore. Adios for now.

Monday, December 16, 2002

My pain is self-chosen.
- Mad Season

Music playing: Counting Crows - Rain King


So I go to Hot Topic today to look around, maybe turn in the frequent buyer card that I filled up right before I left here for college this year. I looked around for 10 minutes or so, then decided that I didn't need to waste money on more t-shirts. So I walked around the mall a bit more and wandered into Suncoast pictures. Ended up walking out owning Say Anything, Fever Pitch, and Empire Records. I should not be allowed to walk into movie or book stores. Empire Records is a great movie though. Just got done watching it. It reaffirmed my wish to own my own bookstore/music store. Maybe then I could rationalize my fetish for both. Happy monday. adios for now.

The only place, besides heaven, to escape the problems and perturbations of love, is Hell.
- C.S. Lewis, in The Four Loves

Music playing right now: Shakira - Estoy aqui


I just got back from the dentist. What a fun thing to do on my Christmas break. Kept up my winning streak though. 20 years and no cavities! They always seem surprised that I bleed when they rip at my gums with sharp metal picks though. Like this is something amazing. You'd think that they'd expect it. Apparently not. If anybody needs some free floss, let me know. You can have mine. I'm off to Hot Topic. Adios for now.

Sunday, December 15, 2002

I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning.
- Andy Warhol

Music playing right now: Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack


See that quote up there? It's the current front runner for my next tattoo. I've decided that when I get my next one, it'll be a quote. Fits well with my quote obsession. Just need to find the right one now. If you've got any good suggestions, feel free to leave them in my comments. I'll be happy to consider them. Adios for now.

Saturday, December 14, 2002


An interesting fact: if you leave an iron sitting on your shelf for 8 months, and then attempt to use it, you'll soon notice that it has a strange tendency to propel little white flecks all over your shirt.

Friday, December 13, 2002

Every man's memory is his private literature.
- Aldous Huxley

Music for ya: The Doors - Light My Fire


Looking back on this semester, it has got to be the weirdest, strange, screwed up semester I've ever had. A lot of firsts for me. A lot of new things happening. New majors, new experiences, new friends, new tattoos,.... Given the fact that this semester was strange, I still think it's been one of my best yet. Definitely not academically, but life-wise, I've learned much more this semester than I ever thought possible. My mind is still reeling, trying to process it all. Maybe over Christmas break I'll get it all sorted through. I know I'll have plenty of time to mull over it. Putting together trophies 8 hours a day doesn't take that much mental energy.

Wonder what's going to happen next semester. I'll be missing friends I know. danielle will be in dallas, presumably working. bredon will be in Illinois, wasting time on his computer. Life might be a bit more boring. Which would probably help my class attendance. But I guess we'll find out when the time comes. Adios for now.

Finally going to bed. Will post a real update when I wake up today. But until then you get another excerpt from The Assassin's Cloak.

December 4, 1941
Thinking over what I have written. What a pack of lies intimate journals are, particularly if one tries too hard to be truthful.
- Charles Ritchie

Thursday, December 12, 2002


Wednesday, December 11, 2002


Tuesday, December 10, 2002


Monday, December 09, 2002

The greatest remedy for anger is delay.
- Seneca

Music you should listen to: Cake - Frank Sinatra


Well, I did a pretty good job of pissing off somebody tonight. Been a while since I've been cussed out with such vehemence. The only annoying thing about it is that I still don't think I did anything wrong. I was just my usual self. Am I that maddening? What also kind of sucks is that I've always been really crappy at apologizing. I have a problem admitting I was wrong. Mostly because I usually don't think I was wrong. But in this case I probably should. I might give him a little time to cool down though. No need to get my teeth knocked out in the middle of an apology. Adios for now.

Sunday, December 08, 2002

Words, like nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

Music you should be listening to: The Eels - Guest List


seen on chopsticks at China Pearl tonight with dave:

"Welcome to Chinese Restaurant.
please try your Nice Chinese Food With Chopsticks the traditional and typical of Chinese glonous history. and cultural."

Saturday, December 07, 2002

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time - but most of the time they will make fools of themselves.
- Voltaire

Music playing right now: The Bangs - We Want More


People are very screwed up. A list of the hits I've gotten from search engines in the past three days:

hamster mating

BMX XXX Samantha game

"boogie nights" + tshirts

scottish love traditions

sexy nude girls unblocked

calories burned hula hooping

penguin mating habits

"lady chatterly's lover" nude pictures

modify female genitals bloody pictures (what language is that?)

And somebody's been searching for me. I got five hits from people looking for Dan Golden. Happy searching. Adios for now.

Friday, December 06, 2002


"The nation of Japan is completely insane--let us pray they never convert to Islam."
- Christian Finnegan


Go Kikkoman Go!!

Thursday, December 05, 2002

Every artist writes his own autobiography.
- Havelock Ellis

Music playing right now: Bishop Allen - Things Are What You Make of Them


I was browsing through the Coudal Partners website yesterday and came across the link to Jeff Harris' site. The guy's had his picture taken every single day from January 1999 up to the present. You can look at all of them on his site and read what other people were doing on those days. Really kind of an interesting site. Like getting a small slice of someone else's life. Check it out. Adios for now.

Wednesday, December 04, 2002

From the fact there are 400,000 species of beetles on this planet, but only 8,000 species of mammals, he concluded that the Creator, if He exists, has a special preference for beetles, and so we might be more likely to meet them than any other type of animal on a planet that would support life.
- J.B.S. Haldane

Music you should listen to: Bjork - Violently Happy


Well, don't you feel lucky? Once again, you've caught dang on a night where he has nothing better to blog about. So you get another installment of (drumroll please).....

Dan's Disovery Channel
The Mating Habits of the Giant Peruvian Water Hamster
This rare creature is only sighted once in a blue moon. Its shaggy coat helps to keep it warm in the cold mountain lakes it calls its home, but also serves as excellent camoflauge. The hamster has been revered by the peruvian natives for centuries for its luxurious coat and rarity. Giant water hamster rugs are often seen in the homes of the most affluent and powerful. Unfortunately for the hamster, it is during its short mating season, running from May 23 until fathers day, that they are at their most vulnerable. The giant hamster exposes itself to the outside world at this time, leaving the floating burrows it calls home and swimming anywhere up to 34 miles to reach another hamster. Because of its shyness, the hamster will often not enter the unfamiliar burrow right away, but will instead tread water outside, making mewing noises and humping the door to announce its intentions.

Once accepted inside the burrow of another hamster, the first begins the mating ritual that the species have become famous for. The initiating hamster dives under the water, leaving its hind paws above while it slowly does a 360 degree turn. It then rights itself in the water to watch the second hamster follow in the same action. After this opening, the two hamsters engage in a marathon synchronized swimming session, culminating in a dive under the water where the male and female copulate amazingly fast. After this anti-climatic ending, the visiting hamster either returns to their own burrow or continues on their way, visiting other hamsters in a long debaucherous tour of sex and synchronized swimming.

sleep, wonderful sleep....

Tuesday, December 03, 2002

Fashion is only the attempt to realize art in living forms and social intercourse.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Music playing right now: At work, but wish I was listening to Loreena McKennitt - The Mystic's Dream


Do you ever have those days when you just feel cool? I had one today. For some reason I just walked around all day "knowing" that I was the coolest guy at LU. I was wearing my bowling shoes, my new catheters t-shirt, and I had a brand new tattoo on my leg. I was definitely the shiznit. It must suck to have a low self-image. Enjoy who you are! I also finished my big project for Children's Lit and Drama today, so now I've got nothing left to do until I take my one final. Lots of reading and computer games for me. Adios for now.

Monday, December 02, 2002

Crawling on the planet's face,
An insect called the human race,
Lost in time,
and lost in space,
and meaning.
- Rocky Horror Picture Show

Music playing right now: DVDA - Now You're a Man


Went and got my very first tattoo tonight. An interesting experience. I now have a permanent biohazard symbol on my right leg. I gotta wonder if I'm going to regret this in 15 years. Oh well. I guess we'll see when that day comes. Right now I think it's really spiffy though. It hurt less than I though it would. Just kind of a dull pain. Now I just have to wait like 2-3 weeks for the stupid thing to heal. I hope I don't get addicted though. It's too expensive to get many more. Adios for now.

Thanks to davezilla:

FREE THE GNOMES!!!



About Me

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Days since Dan entered into wedded bliss:




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eegah, eliot!
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