Dang it All
Trials and Travails of a 20-something
Monday, June 30, 2003

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare

Music playing right now: Crash Test Dummies - God Shuffled His Feet


The Japanese believe that people have 3 hearts. The first is shown to everybody. The second is revealed to family and close friends. The third innermost heart is revealed only to yourself.

I'm starting to believe that my forced exile here in kansas might be a good thing. It's giving me time to process all of the events of the past year. It's strange to think that I was in this same house last summer, a radically different person. My innocence and naivety have been replaced by more experience and a sweet bitterness. I'm not sure which version of me I liked better, but it seems I'm stuck with this one now.

The longer I stay here, doing pretty much nothing, plenty of time to think, the more I think I start to know my innermost heart. For a while it was lost, but now is found. Sorry to say, all you're ever going to get is the 2nd. Sucks for you. Deal with it.

Sunday, June 29, 2003


Saturday, June 28, 2003


Friday, June 27, 2003

Fear can be headier than whiskey, once man has acquired a taste for it.
- Donald Dowes

Music playing right now: Marcy Playground - Sex and Candy


I've learned something about myself in the last 3 weeks. I don't really like 'horror' movies. I've watched a sizable amount of them lately for some reason. It just happened that way. The list includes The Ring, Evil Dead, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Sleepaway Camp, and now 28 Days Later. Some of them were much more suspenseful than others, but all were trying to induce some level of fear in the watcher. I guess I just don't really like that tense, suspenseful feeling. I watch movies to relax, not to get my heart tied up. If I wanted to scare myself, I'd streak through a gay bar. Save myself $5 and maybe get a free drink. In the meantime, I'm going to stick to more enjoyable films. Adios for now.

Thursday, June 26, 2003

I remember my youth fondly, one day in particular. We'd brought our dope home from the store in a poke. A Lookie-Lou held us up a bit, but we made it back eventually. I was happy when we left, because I'd called high hosey, but when we got back we found that our house had been bog rolled while we were away. We cleaned it up just in time to avoid getting caught in a monkey's wedding and settled down to supper. After enjoying some sameys and cabinets we all went outside to catch some peenie wallies. It was a great night. If only we could have whipped some shitties it would have made the whole thing complete.

Adios for now.

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

What I love about college life:

It's 2:42 PM. I'm sitting here in my boxers, my hair all messed up, because I just woke up 20 minutes ago. A can of Del Monte sliced peaches is providing my breakfast as I sing along with Back in Black at the top of my lungs. Life is good.

It just makes my day when I find out I'm #1 for a search such as this.

It seems a pity that psychology has destroyed all our knowledge of human nature.
- G.K. Chesterton

Music playing right now: Simple Plan - When I'm With You


I observed a unique individual at starbucks this morning. wrote this while staring at her surreptitiously over my notebook:

This lady is certainly a character study. An average widthed black woman of about 35. Her hair is pulled back by a clip and accented by a blue bandana. I wonder why she's reading yesterday's paper in Starbucks at 2:35 in the morning. Does she not want to go home either? She sways back and forth at odd times, for no apparent reason, and taps her foot out of time with the music. She looks like a Rita.

Rita holds her paper very close to her face, as if her glasses weren't doing their job. She eats a cookie brought from home in a plastic baggie. Her clothes are the casual sort middle aged people wear to go to the dentist. Denim capris, leather sandals, and a polka dot blouse that looks like it could be the wallpaper in Boogie Nights. Rita's mouth twitches while she reads. She looks around nervously at any strange sound.

Rita's wedding finger's got a ring on it, but it looks more like something bought at a cheap stand in a mall or at a tourist trap. My guess is divorced, at least 5 years ago. Her swaying is starting to concern me. I feel like I'm watching a renegade metronome. There seems to be no pattern. She'll be reading along, face inches from the newsprint, and all of a sudden start rocking, like some huge weeble doll. I wonder how one develops such a tic. Maybe she's related to Stevie Wonder. Rita Wonder?

Good luck Rita.


Monday, June 23, 2003

You were born an original. Don't die a copy.
- John Mason

Music playing right now: Weezer - The World Has Turned and Left Me Here


I finally finished unpacking from moving home today. The problem is that I own too many shirts. It's one of my weaknesses. I like shirts. Lots of them. So today I completed the arduous task of whittling my collection down to what will fit in 3 drawers and my closet. I now have a big pile of shirts that will be going to goodwill to make some thrift store shoppers day. Among the shirts I'm getting rid of are a bunch from old trips. I used to have a habit of making other people sign my shirt at the end of a trip. So I have 3 or 4 shirts covered in signatures and sentiments like "I'll miss you!" or "Have a great senior year!"

What struck me reading my shirts again was how many times I saw the same thing repeated. And thinking about it, I've really heard it a lot in my life. Since I can remember, I've been hearing some version of "You're the weirdest person I know" or "You're really cool, but eccentric" or "The world needs more strange people like you." So I'm a strange person. I guess I always knew it. At least I'm unique.

It kind of makes me wonder how I became strange and different. Is it just because I say what I think a bit too much? Or maybe it's because I'm impulsive. I get an idea and then shoot off in that direction. I remember in 11th grade I got the idea that this plastic light up sword I saw in a toy store was really cool. I carried it around for the next 2 weeks making strange clanging noises. I called it proctaliber, because it resembled something that could be stuck up your ass.

And then there was the time I went out with a bunch of guys to have a bonfire and roast some hot dogs. I came back without my shirt and both my pant legs cut off at the knees. I'd turned the 'extra' clothing into torches. I also have an amazing collection of really hideous shirts. So I guess I am strange. Woohoo! Here's to not being normal and making the world a bit more interesting.

Sunday, June 22, 2003

Today was a good day simply because I managed to slip in a reference to Kegel exercises in a group of church people and then identify the 3 of us who had any idea what they were.

Saturday, June 21, 2003

Today I:

Woke up at 8:00
Ate a huge breakfast at the Beacon Cafe
Walked it off going about 5 miles down the Arkansas River
Built a retaining wall for rocks in my backyard
Ate some feta cheeseburgers
Made chocolate chip cookies
Watched Futurama

A good day.

Friday, June 20, 2003

Initiate get rich quick scheme number 37.

I didn't really have anything to do today, so I did this:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m writing in order to offer you a singular opportunity. In today’s world, consumers are constantly being bombarded by advertisements. They appear on billboards, subway platforms, park benches, radio, and television. It is becoming harder and harder to have your unique voice heard among the multitude.

What I am proposing is a means for you to have that voice. I am a poor college student, perpetually broke, trying to scrape by until I get my degree. As such, I have not been able to procure transportation to my satisfaction. As a result, I am suggesting an arrangement that would be in both of our interests.

Imagine driving home from work. You’re kind of tired, you just want to get home and put your feet up. All of a sudden, you spot something out of the corner of your eye. That’s one really bright car. And what is that painted on it? It’s a big moving advertisement for Pepsi. You know, a soda does sound pretty good right now.

What I am proposing is this: I need a good car and you could always use a bit more advertising. If you will finance a car for me, you will be able to paint it however you want, cover it in advertising for your company. It will be a moving billboard, advertising your products wherever I go. I in turn, will do my part. I will keep the car clean and in perfect running condition, and I’ll be sure and talk highly of your company whenever someone asks about it, which of course they will.

Consider the figures: If only 100 people a day see my car (a very conservative estimate) and the car lasts 10 years, that’s 365,000 people. All for an outlay of only about $20,000. On top of that, I will be sure and alert the news media about your generosity. I’m sure that it would be worthy of a short blurb on the news or in the paper. That’s even more free publicity for you. I could also drive my car to large occasions, such as concerts or sports events and simply park it where hundreds or thousands would see it. As you can see, this would be a wonderful opportunity for you to both help out a college student and further your company. Please consider it thoughtfully. I’ll be looking forward to your response.


I sent it to Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Gatorade, Frito-Lay, M&M/Mars, and Shasta. I know it has just about as much a chance of working as I do of becoming the next star of Baywatch, but I am interested to read their replies.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I wish I could rhyme,
But I can't.

Thursday, June 19, 2003

It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?
- Ronald Reagan

Music playing right now: Circle of Dust - One Enemy


Ah, another hard day over and done with. I woke up around 11, played around on the computer for a couple of hours, watched The Distinguished Gentleman, took a long bath in which I played about 15 games of hand-held yahtzee, watched 5 episodes of futurama and a bit of tv. A tough day. Hope yours was easier.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

it's days like today that I wonder how I validate my existence.

Black as hell, strong as death, sweet as love.
- Turkish proverb.

Music playing right now: Crash Test Dummies - When I Go Out With Artists


I learned two valuable things tonight. #1: Starbucks coffee is much stronger than the stuff I make at home. #2: If you keep your cup, you can get cheap refills. I'm currently extremely wired and my hands are having trouble typing because they're so shaky. Nevertheless, I'll attempt to type a bit of what I wrote there tonight. I love places that are open 24 hours.


My dad collects things. When he was a kid it was stamps. He has an old album somewhere full of obscure ones. I'm not sure why he stopped. He has a pencil collection, culled from tourist traps all over the world. If you're ever in a cheap souvenir shop and you see a display of pencils with the location stamped on them, you can bet that my dad probably has one. It became an easy and inexpensive thing to do for fathers day, birthdays, or Christmas. Can't think of anything to get for dad? How about a pencil from some obscure spot. Nothing says Happy Birthday like a pencil from the biggest ball of twine in the midwest.

He also collects mugs. Mugs are important things to him. There are probably over 100 scattered throughout our house and more are acquired every year. They range from commemorative mugs from the different schools he attended to kitschy pig mugs to just good looking mugs. Picking one to drink your coffee out of in the morning is an important decision. It determines your mood for the rest of the day. Are you going to need a lot of coffee to be sane? Choose the huge seattle starbucks mug. Want to be stylish, sleek, and modern? Stainless steel is the one for you. Feeling goofy? Ben and Jerry's cow mug. Reminiscent? Pick any one of 10 or 20 from former hometowns or vacations. Charitable? Public radio mugs. Free when you donate $50 or more.

I have my own collection of cups. I have the travel mug I drank out of every day my senior year of high school. Mr. K made coffee for us in physics first period. It was the only thing that kept me awake in that class. I have mugs that were made for me on my birthdays. "Happy 16th Birthday Daniel!" I've got one that Maryah made for me with all of my nicknames on it. Hotstuff, Loverboy, etc. I've got mugs that my dad bought me on trips I took with him. The one from canada with polar bears. The one from our trip hiking on the katy trail. I've got cups from my involvement with student activities at LeTourneau. There's a lot of memories stored in my morning coffee.

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
- Elvis Presley

Music playing right now: Dynamite Hack - Boyz in the Hood


While we're on the topic of downloading music, if you're looking for some really random songs, you should check out the 365 Days Project, a place solely dedicated to putting up another strange song every day. Personally, I recommend #'s 147 and 91 if you're just looking for something to crack up to.

Sunday, June 15, 2003

I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
- Joe Walsh

Music playing right now: Deb Talan - Something Burning


I just recently found out that you could download music from the Boston Phoenix online. Good stuff. My favorites so far are The Operators, Bishop Allen, Wille T and Doctor X, and Deb Talan. really like Deb Talan.

The longer I sit around wichita and look for a job, the lower my standards go. I applied today to be a "walkaround character" at Chuck E. Cheese. I'm not sure if I'd like the job or not. I guess we'll see if I actually get it. If nothing else, it should provide plenty of material to write about.

Speaking of writing, I used my handy-dandy little Aiwa MI40 micro cassette recorder to dictate a short story on my long drive back from texas last wednesday. I finally transcribed the whole thing. It's kind of weird hearing your own voice. Like listening to yourself do voiceover in a movie. If you're interested in reading it, you can find the story here. Adios for now.

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.
- Russel Baker

Music playing right now: Brandston - Black Boys on Mopeds


The water was cool, the wind was blowing, the sun was shining, and my skin was burning. I'm back. I've got a good looking sunburn that I'll be sporting for the next couple of days, but it was worth it. We went up to a friends parents summer house on table rock lake. And when I say on table rock lake, I mean on table rock lake. Just step out the front door and you're there. It was great. Not to mention the house also came stocked with 4 mopeds. Which automatically meant moped races all around the back roads out there. I definitely need one of my own. More details later. It's fathers day and I just got back.

Thursday, June 12, 2003

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel across the country from coast to coast without seeing anything.
- Charles Kuralt

Music playing right now: Deb Talan - Tell Your Story Walking


This is a busy week. I just got back yesterday from Texas. Today I'm leaving for Arkansas. Won't be coming back until Sunday. To be honest, I'm not really sure what I'm doing down there. Hopefully it'll be fun and I'll come back with great stories to report. In the meantime, talk amongst yourselves on the following topic:
The relevance and impact of cheese in a modern society as opposed to primitive man. Be sure to back up your answer with examples.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

We are rich only through what we give, and poor only through what we refuse.
- Anne Swetchine

Music playing right now: Willie T and Doctor X - All's Not Quiet On The Western Front


Finally made it home today. It was a fun and relaxing trip back to my old stomping grounds. Will look forward to visiting again. Came home to find presents waiting for me. Always a plus. Many thanks to beth, a girl who obviously knows me, for the supply of altoids. They are very very much appreciated. Much gratitude is also due the plug, one of the best websites out there. Edgar will now be the coolest car on the block with his brand new sticker.

Monday, June 09, 2003

Life has been fun here at good ol' LU. It's amazing to me how much more fun life is than at home. There's always someone around to annoy with my presence and people to go out and do stuff with. After my first night here I woke up to find that Sam had decided to write all over me with a sharpie. So I've been walking around for the past two days with a giant fading dick on my chest. Thanks Sam. Sam and I went out last night with the intention of getting more tattoos for both of us. Dave just tagged along for the fun of it. Unfortunately when we got there, I found out that the tattoo I wanted was going to cost me about $250. I simply don't have the capital for an outlay of that sort. And Sam wasn't really sure what he wanted, so we just convinced Dave to get another tattoo. He now has a big pretzel on his arm with the word "PRZTLS" underneath. If you ever meet him, you'll have to get him to tell you why. Hope your weekend was just as fun-filled. Adios for now.

Friday, June 06, 2003

Woohoo! Headed back to good ol' LU tomorrow. Get to see some old friends and have a weekend away from home. I need it. Although my parents are sure I can't afford it. At this point though I don't really care. Cause I'm going home!

Thursday, June 05, 2003

Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.
- Alan Wilson Watts

Music playing right now: Veruca Salt - Volcano Girls


When I was growing up I knew exactly who I was. I was my parents child. I was Daniel Golden, son of Mark and Cindy. I believed in Jesus, family, Good Housekeeping, and The Joy of Cooking. Now I hide my beer in the closet upstairs, fantasize about moving out, and have almost nothing in common anymore. I'm not even sure what I believe in anymore.

My family is fractured, my faith is limping, brownies now come from a box, and martha stewart has just been indicted. My entire past is revolting.

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

Boredom slays more of existence than war.
- Norman Mailer

Music playing right now: Damn hypnotic webpage music


I find it sad to say that this webpage has kept me entertained for the last 45 min. Thanks a lot Sabrina

O solitude, where are the charms That sages have seen in thy face? Better dwell in the midst of alarms, Than reign in this horrible place.
- William Cowper

Music playing right now: Lenny Kravitz - Fly Away


5 more minutes. 5 more minutes and I'm going to explode. I've been in this house now for 3 days. Most of the time all by myself. I now know what people mean by becoming stir crazy. I've been without a car and without money and without anybody around. After a while the tv just stops being a suitable companion. If I ever get arrested and go to jail and get put in solitary I think I'll go crazy in about 72 hours. My mom and brother are home at night, but all they do is sit and watch tv. By the time 7:00 rolls around that's the last thing I want to do. I've been doing it all day.

I caught myself running up the stairs today, making noises like a wild turkey and flapping my arms. I feel like johnny depp in fear and loathing in las vegas, paranoid, jumpy, and not quite right. Somehow I've developed nervous tics. Like shaking my leg. I don't know how hermits can do it. Maybe I should learn to meditate. Instead I have music going in every room in the house, like some semblance of company. I think I'm going crazy. insane. out of my head. reminiscent of robin williams in The Fisher King. (I've been watching a lot of movies recently). Pretty soon I'm going to be running away from the red knight in abject horror. AWEaiaweiaiwaAHHGHGGH! or something like that.

You purchase pain with all that joy can give, and die of nothing but a rage to live.
- Alexander Pope

Music playing right now: They Might Be Giants - Another First Kiss


Junior high, land of puberty, hormones, boys learning to like girls, and girls learning to taunt and use boys. I went to Ferucci Junior High in Puyallup, WA. A smallish school, located in the midst of a maze of houses and trees. I did my best to cement my geek image, although I didn't realize it at the time. I wore braces, clothes hopelessly mismatched and out of fashion, played clarinet in band, and raised my hand to answer all the questions. I was the kind of kid people love to point out and laugh at. If I met that kid today, I'd probably laugh my ass off and feel sorry for his future.

It was one of those pheromone hormone sweat scented days that we were all called down to the nurses office. girls first, then boys. It was time for our yearly scoliosis screening. I went down and suffered the indignity of undressing, bending over, and letting her feel the bumps in my back. What I wasn't ready for was the sherlockian technique she went through and the confused hmms issuing forth from over my shoulder. I went home that day with a note telling my mom I was at risk for some kind of back disorder, on the precipice of suffering. Of course, it said not to worry, which made me worry all the more.

All of this was forgotten for the next 5 or 6 years, through the rest of my geeky junior high and nerdy high school careers. When I got to college though, I started having horrible lower back pain. It came and went. When it first started I assumed I just pulled something, but it kept coming back. It's now something that I've pretty much learned to live with, like an unwanted relative who takes up residence in the attic. I now sit down to tie my shoes. I have to prop myself against the wall with one hand to pull on my pants. And it takes me forever to lean back in my seat after standing up. I went to see a doctor about it, but she just told me take some Motrin and maybe it would go away eventually. Thanks a lot doc. Now I'm just paranoid that I'll end up some kind of invalid at age 40, hunchbacked, lurching around. I'm concerned about getting old and decrepit and I'm barely 21. I think there's more wrong with me than just my back.

Monday, June 02, 2003

Ever left a question in somebody's comments and then forget who it was? I just went through my whole history for last week and checked all of my regular blogs. I know it was somebody who worked for a paper. I asked them how they got the job. But I can't for the life of me figure out who the hell it was. crap. I'm stumped. If it was you, I'm sorry. It's not like it was that important, just bothersome not to be able to remember.

Sunday, June 01, 2003

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
- Ogden Nash

Music playing right now: Simon and Garfunkel - Feeling Groovy


A more utilitarian post here:
Just saw Finding Nemo. Actually not that bad. Ellen's rendition of whale-speak is definitely funny. On the job front, I've applied at a grocery store that I'm not really thinking will work out and not really hoping for. Also applied at Blockbuster, which would be really cool, and the movie theater tonight, where they told me that as long as I fill out the application right I'm pretty much guaranteed a job. Of course then I went right ahead and screwed up on my first try. Had to ask for another application. Would be kind of interesting, but not really sure I want to clean up stale popcorn. We'll see. Somebody told me tonight that Hot Topic is hiring too so I'll check that out tomorrow. That would be a really spiffy job. I need more bracelets and shiny metal jewelry though. Adios for now.


About Me

My wife thinks I'm awesome. Counter

Days since Dan entered into wedded bliss:




::Required Reading::
My beautiful wife
The Slot
A Capital Idea
Nashua
Dave
eegah, eliot!
Practicing Myrtle
Headsuptheblog
Obscure Store
The Plug
Patrick
Davezilla


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