Dang it All
Trials and Travails of a 20-something
Saturday, May 27, 2006

Picture of the Day

One of these days we'll teach Truffle that, although they taste yummy, hands aren't for eating.
Disclaimer: Despite what it may look like, you don't need to call the ASPCA. Truffle's the aggressor here.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Picture of the Day

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Pictures of Yesterday

They're in the midst of the giant spring Harley rally here in Myrtle Beach. They say there will be over 300,000 bikers here over the 10-day rally. Kelsey and I ventured down to check out a few of the hogs yesterday. She wants an orange one.

Kelsey also looks cute taking aim at the castle across the bay.

I want a yellow one.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Friday, May 12, 2006

Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.
~ Margaret Millar
Music playing right now: The Dandy Warhols - Get Off

I started saying howdy instead of hello when I was in high school in upstate NY, mostly just to be a little different than everybody else. Cause that's what high school is all about, right? Showing how much cooler you are than everybody else by being just a little different, but not different enough to really upset the norm. Anyway...

I still use howdy all the time. Kelsey thinks I should retire it and I halfway agree. It kind of makes me sound like a hick. But by now it's been ingrained in my vocabulary. I might as well try to stop saying 'spiffy.'

It's not usually much of a problem, but aberrations do occur. The most common is that people think I'm saying 'How are you?' I guess this makes sense. There aren't a whole lot of people in either Kansas or South Carolina who say howdy. But it's always a little uncomfortable when I say 'Howdy!' and somebody says, 'Oh, pretty good.'

I think I may need a new greeting. But I still want something more interesting than Hello. Any ideas? Greetings? Live long and prosper? Hey there? I'll think about it.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.
~ Henry Louis Mencken
Music playing right now: Tokyo trance

My birthday was about a week ago (Happy Birthday me!) and Kelsey and I had a great time. As part of the celebrations, Kelsey's mom sent me a copy of Chibi Robo. A very fine gift, as I'd been craving it since spying it in Best Buy a few weeks back. The problem is, now Kelsey and I can't stop playing.

Who knew that picking up trash and scrubbing floors could be so fun? I credit its success to the same thing that made The Sims so popular. While nothing particularly amazing is happening, it seems so real. You almost believe that these midget machines actually do exist.

At first Kelsey wasn't that enthralled. Sure, it was cute, with the little girl in the frog costume and the spunky pint-sized robot pal. But it was just another game, right? Then yesterday she started playing. And now I have competition for the GameCube.

Anticipating this addiction, or so it seems, the game developers added a feature designed solely to shame us. Whenever you save your game, it tells you how many points you have, how far along in the game you are, etc. And it also tells you how long you've been playing. As if I didn't feel bad enough already for ignoring my lovely, beautiful, adoring, smart, funny, sexy, witty, bright-eyed wife, here's proof of just how long I've been doing it. Of course, the only way to avoid some of that guilt is to keep her game-time total above mine. And besides, if she plays more, she can figure out the hard parts so I don't have to.

Yes, I think I have a problem. Chibi-robo: Cute metal manservant? Or evil scrapmetal spawn? I guess I'll just have to keep playing to figure it out.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
~ Robert M. Hutchins
Music playing right now: The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Phenomena

Kelsey and I have been taking almost daily constitutionals on the beach, and in our walks we have discovered a slightly strange phenomenon: the overweight older man who doesn't care anymore.

These "Manatees" can be seen along almost any stretch of the beach but are most common in front of condos, often seen with their mate, an older woman who may or may not also be overweight. After close observation, it is clear that there is an age range in which overweight males prefer not to be seen without their shirts. Until puberty hits, most chunky boys will happily waddle into the waves with only shorts protecting them from the brisk ocean breeze. Somewhere around age 13, the teens will start wearing shirts. Some of them will take these off to swim, but many will not. The desire to cover up their manboobs (or 'Mannary glands') usually persists until middle age, although the exact timing can vary.

Nevertheless, it seems that all men hit a certain age of enlightenment and eventually give up and accept what they look like. If they're naturally skinny, they're naturally skinny and they don't mind the world seeing. If they're naturally Rubenesque, they show that off as well. It's unclear exactly what prompts this change. Perhaps some men finally become comfortable in their skin. Others might realize their wife is planning to stick with them no matter what they look like and simply let themselves go.

I have only one request for these men. I appreciate that you are comfortable with your body and don't mind having tan lines where your fat rolls squish together. But please don't expect me not to giggle just a little when you run after a football and I see your breasticles jiggling like a bowl of jello on a washing machine.

Monday, May 01, 2006

For those of you who just can't get enough news, the Wall Street Journal is currently in the midst of a free 10-day period for its entire site. It may be your one chance to see this premier paper for free.

About Me

My wife thinks I'm awesome. Counter

Days since Dan entered into wedded bliss:

::Required Reading::
My beautiful wife
The Slot
A Capital Idea
eegah, eliot!
Practicing Myrtle
Obscure Store
The Plug


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