Dang it All
Trials and Travails of a 20-something
Friday, August 18, 2006

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
~ P.J. O'Rourke

Twice in the last month or so, Kelsey and I have walked through a parking lot and come upon a male of sufficient age to know better relieving himself on the asphalt. The first was around midnight after a concert in which more than a few people were noticeably inebriated. So while we were perturbed at his indecent whizzing, it was at least somewhat understandable. But the second incident happened in the early evening at a major tourist venue here in Myrtle Beach. The sun had not yet gone down, there were bathrooms less than 100 feet away and other patrons even closer. But none of those factors stopped this man on his quest for relief.

I don't think I'm prudish and I don't care about the numerous hygienic ramifications of these exhibitionist acts, I'm just flabbergasted that people have no compunctions about whipping out their willies and letting loose. Have they no shame? Was this some sort of weird fraternity bet? Do they think we don't notice the soft trickling sound of warm urine on hot asphalt? I'm dumbfounded. If you've got any explanation for what could compel a rational human to behave this way, let me know. I'm pooped.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Pictures of the (rainy) day

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Life goes faster on protein.
~ Martin H. Fischer

In an effort to combat cooking boredom, Kelsey and I have embarked on a mission to try each and every recipe in our heretofore only slightly-used copy of Vegetarian Planet. So far, we've made it through Havana Sandwiches, Avocado Bistro Salad and Apple Burgers (I have to agree with the reviewers at Booklist: "Long ingredient lists and time-consuming techniques make these burgers more complicated for the time-pressed cook than their fast-food cousins." But they were tasty).
Last night Kelsey made some delectable Nutty Enchiladas with Spicy Chili sauce. Filled with a ragout of tofu, cottage cheese and spinach, they were very good. Unfortunately, the recipe that said it made 8 gave us 15 enchiladas. We're going to be enjoying them for the next 2 or 3 days. So if you're in the neighborhood and want an almond-chipotle topped carrot-tofu enchilada, come on by. We'll be happy to warm one up for you.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
~ Douglas Adams
Music playing right now: Barenaked Ladies - Too Little, Too Late

I'm very happy with my life for the most part. My wife is beautiful, I own my home, I've got a steady job, a car that runs, I live blocks from the beach, and I can afford to splurge on luxuries every once in a while. I'm pretty content. I traipse happily through life thinking that there couldn't be anybody who has it better than me. And, for the most part, I think I'm right.
But then I look at hotel rates in Charleston and I'm reminded that I'm stuck squarely in the lower middle class. Not that being middle class is a bad thing, but sometimes it would be nice to be able to drop $1800 a night for a hotel room.
It's a good thing I've got this English degree. One day I'm sure that'll really pay off. But while I'm waiting for the icicles to start forming in Hades, go buy some stuff from Kelsey. Remember, Christmas is only 141 days away.

Friday, August 04, 2006

The flood of print has turned reading into a process of gulping rather than savoring.
~ Warren Chappell
Music playing right now: Barry Williams - The Real Greg Brady

Readers everywhere are finding out the truth. After reading newspaper copy 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, I find that I have no other voice. Gone are the superlatives, the florid metaphors. Here to stay are the concrete, no-nonsense verbs. References to pop culture? Maybe. References to real culture? Never.
No longer will there be any lighthearted articles stories of days on the beach, lounging in the sun, unless they're prefaced by a good, solid lead-in.
"It was blisteringly hot on the sands of Surfside Beach Friday, as Dan and Kelsey Golden quickly discovered when they kicked off their flip-flops and yelped their way across the dunes."
I fear I've lost my writing voice forever, replaced by AP style and reporter-ese.
Please, Dorothy Parker, give me my muse back.

About Me

My wife thinks I'm awesome. Counter

Days since Dan entered into wedded bliss:

::Required Reading::
My beautiful wife
The Slot
A Capital Idea
eegah, eliot!
Practicing Myrtle
Obscure Store
The Plug


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